Learning to Cope with Loss & Finding a Way Forward

At some point in our lives, we all experience loss. Be it a loved one, a relationship, a beloved pet, or even a home or a job, loss takes a toll on our mental well-being and brings out unexpected emotions. The grief that accompanies loss is a deeply personal experience, as is the process of learning to live with and in our grief.

Held every year on August 30, National Grief Awareness Day is dedicated to raising awareness of the many ways in which individuals cope with loss. It serves as a reminder that sorrow and suffering, although painful, are a natural reaction to loss. It’s also meant to encourage individuals to understand the time it takes to heal from loss doesn’t have a prescribed course and is a reminder closure comes in many forms.

If you are grieving, you may find comfort in the following coping methods:

Lean on others and open up: While you are correct that nobody understands exactly what you are experiencing, there are people, be it friends, family, counselors, or co-workers, who care about you. Reach out to those you trust and respect the most to share what you are feeling. No, nobody can fix it, but just expressing what you are feeling will provide you some emotional relief.

Take care of yourself: This means body and mind. As challenging as it may feel at first, try to maintain a healthy routine, including a regular sleeping and eating schedule. Avoid the temptation to eat whatever is easy, and instead make sure you are eating nutritious foods. You may also find simple, meditative activities will help quiet and calm your mind. Make time for the things that soothe you, be it arts & crafts, playing an instrument, doing yoga, getting a mani/pedi, or finding quiet inside or outside to meditate.

Join a support group: There are many support groups available online and in person. Many are designed for people who have experienced the specific type of loss you’re going through right now. Not only will participating help you recognize that this moment won’t last forever, but you may also find comfort in knowing that you’re not alone. Visit the Cope Foundation or Grief Share here to find a group near you.

Get the help you need: If you are not comfortable opening up to family and friends, or feel you need more support than they can offer, contact a therapist who specializes in grief. Whether you meet in person or online, they can help you navigate the very real emotional challenges you are facing.

Here are just a few of the online support groups available to help you today:

• For anyone who is grieving: Grieving.com and VNA & Hospice of the Southwest Region 
• For parents who lost a child: MISS Foundation
• For pregnancy and infant loss: First Candle
• For people who have lost a partner: Widowers on Reddit
• For young adults: Actively Moving Forward
• For people grieving someone who died by suicide: Suicide Grief Support
• For people grieving the loss of a pet: Grief Healing Discussion Groups for Pet Loss
• For loss of a twin: Twinless Twins
• For loss due to cancer: Cancer Care

Shawnee Webster, MSW, is a social worker at Southwestern Vermont Medical Center.